


Idiot With A Death Wish

by Michael_Demos



Category: Les Schtroumpfs | The Smurfs
Genre: Boxer nearly dies, Boxernurse is the ship name I have for them but please let me know if you have a better idea, M/M, Tuffy leaves Nurse for Marco (still unclear on how that turns out), Version M Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:08:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26541175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michael_Demos/pseuds/Michael_Demos
Summary: Tuffy Smurfteen is the perfect boyfriend- albeit a stupid one- until he leaves Nurse for Marco. Several years later, Boxer crashes into his life.
Relationships: Nurse Smurf & Boxer Smurf, Tuffy Smurfteen/Nurse Smurfteen (pre-breakup)
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

Tuffy Smurfteen is the perfect boyfriend- albeit a stupid one- until he leaves Nurse for Marco.

Tuffy is an idiot with a death wish. He has to be, for all the times he ends up in Nurse’s medical tent. Whether it’s a broken arm from a smurfboarding accident (“He said I couldn’t! It was a challenge!”) or several large bee stings (“What was I supposed to do, run away?!”) or once a deep cut on his arm from taking on Azrael (“Sure I fought her myself, but that cat’s gonna think twice before smurfing with me again!”) Tuffy can’t seem to stay away from Nurse. Eventually Nurse sees past the false bravado his friend puts on to the sweetheart Smurfteen within, and falls in love. Tuffy seems to feel the same for Nurse, and they start going out, but after a few months Marco shows up.

Marco Smurfteen is older than them both, by a few years, and everything Nurse isn’t. He’s brave and adventurous, and daring and reckless. It’s almost unsurprising when Tuffy tells him he’s not the one. It still hurts, and Nurse never really forgives Tuffy for breaking his heart.

He puts up an emotional wall, concealing everything but annoyance and icy indifference towards his patients, and keeps it up for another fifty years. Once, Cupid tries setting him up with his “assistant,” Doctor, and Nurse plays along simply because Doctor is so much different from Tuffy, but it doesn’t last- neither of them was really invested in it.

Boxer crashes into his life, quite literally, when he shows up with a broken arm and a black eye. He’s gotten into a fight with Hefty- apparently Hefty took an offhand comment about Smurfette the wrong way- and Boxer was completely unprepared.

Hefty apologizes, of course, for throwing Boxer across the village- usually that’s something reserved for Brainy- and refuses to leave the medical tent until Nurse threatens him with a forced stay.

For the next few weeks, it’s just him and Boxer. Nurse automatically hates him. He reminds the Smurf too much of Tuffy. After Boxer leaves the tent, it takes a week before he’s hit over the head with a falling log from the dam supports.

Two days after that, it’s a broken finger.

Not one hour after his release, he returns, sporting a bleeding shoulder and a grin that shows two broken teeth. “Tuffy can’t box for smurf,” he tells Nurse.

Tuffy.

_ Tuffy. _

It always comes back to Tuffy.

Nurse has had enough, and shoves Boxer at Doctor before storming out of the tent. His angry/sad/confused mood carries him into the woods, where bad luck- or fate- sends him straight to a duo of Shadow Spiders.

He’s only encountered the Shadow Spiders once before, when Wild got bitten and nearly lost his arm. The venom had drained the color from the appendage almost entirely before Nurse was able to save it.

He’s almost bitten himself, but manages to run and hide himself in a hollow tree trunk until Boxer finds him. There’s a few thuds, several screeched of rage, a yell of agony that scares Nurse, then silence. Horrible silence.

He eventually squeezes out of the top of the tree, and the sight of Boxer- motionless and half white already- nearly stops his heart. The next hour is a blur, blind panic over someone he swears he doesn’t care about- he  _ doesn’t, _ for obvious reasons- allowing him to carry Boxer in his arms like Grouchy carries Baby until he reaches the village and sets the unconscious Smurf down on a vacant bed, snapping at Doctor to get the medicine  _ now _ .

He spends the next five days at Boxer’s bedside, not eating or sleeping. He’s not  _ worried _ about him, of course not- he’s too similar to his ex and anyway, he hates him- he’s just taking care of a patient so he doesn’t  _ die. _

That’s what he tells himself.

When Boxer wakes up, he startles Nurse into falling over. The conversation that follows quickly devolves into yelling as Nurse scolds Boxer for being an idiot and letting himself get bitten, and Boxer scolds Nurse for being an idiot and not taking care of himself for five days, until finally Nurse just wants him to  _ shut up _ -

He kisses him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Boxer saved Nurse, and the other way around.

Boxer’s breath comes in short bursts as he races through the forest. He probably shouldn’t have mentioned Tuffy, given Nurse’s past relationship with him, but how was he supposed to know that the wound was still fresh?! He’s never been in any relationship before- and he has a feeling that if he doesn’t find Nurse and make it right, he won’t ever get that relationship.

Yeah, he admits it- he’s fallen for Nurse. He loves how the healer knows exactly what he’s doing, loves how he does everything he can and more to help Smurfs when they’re hurt or sick, and especially loves how his anger hides his worry. In a way, he’s exactly like Brainy.

Just less annoying.

Boxer finally slows down in a clearing and looks around. A few smurfs away is a hollow tree trunk, but apart from that it’s empty. “Nurse?” He calls out.

_ Hissss!!! _

Oh. Not empty then.

The black-and-white striped spiders, both about half his size, emerge from the other side of the trunk and advance. He’s about to retreat, not wanting to risk injury before he finds his friend, but then-

“Help!”

Oh smurf.

Oh  _ smurf. _

Before he can think about it, Boxer is running forward, dodging one arachnid and delivering a punch to the other. “Nurse,” he yells. “I’m here!”

He yelps, narrowly avoiding a hairy leg, and hears, “be careful, you idiot!”

“Don’t worry,” he replies, tripping a spider, “I’ll be fine!” A pause for a punch. “You’ll be out of there in no smurf!”

He’s momentarily distracted by replying, and the next sensation he feels is a searing pain in his arm. He yells, whirling and punching with all he’s got. His vision starts to fade, and he seems to fall in slow-motion. The last thing he hears is Nurse’s cry of alarm.

Boxer thinks he’s being carried, with someone whispering reassurance in his ear, then he’s sinking into a white fog that feels like cotton. It’s comfortable and cool to the touch, and Boxer sleeps.

Nurse is arguing with someone from far away, but Boxer can’t seem to escape the cotton fog and find him, and sleeps again.

A muffled crash wakes him again, followed by more argument, and this time Boxer manages to wave the fog away, if only a tiny bit. It’s Nurse, shouting at Greedy, who’s holding a shattered soup bowl.

“You need to eat,” Greedy protests, and again it sounds distant.

“I  _ need  _ to see to my patient,” Nurse snaps, pointing a finger sharply at Boxer. “I’ll eat when he’s able to, and not before!!”

The fog grows thicker and Boxer sleeps once more.

“Wake up,” he hears. “Please.”

With a jolt, he realizes it’s Nurse who sounds so desperate- but it can’t be. That’s just the fog muffling the voice. There’s nothing that could ever make Nurse plead like that.

“I’m sorry,” the Smurf says softly, and now Boxer knows it isn’t Nurse, because Nurse doesn’t cry.

The next time Boxer wakes, it’s for the last time, and the fog fades away fully as he blinks. He’s in Nurse’s mushroom, in his bedroom. What’s he doing in Nurse’s bedroom?

A small noise beside him has him turning his head, and he sees Nurse occupying a short stool by the head of the bed, holding his face in his hands.

“Nurse?” Boxer asks, his throat feeling dry, and the healer’s head snaps up. Boxer flinches. “You look terrible,” he says without meaning to.

Nurse lets out an incredulous laugh. “Me?  _ I  _ look terr- Boxer, you almost  _ died!!” _

What.

“Shadow Spiders.” Boxer glances down at his arm, where a bandage is wrapped around his bicep. “And I almost…”

“You were halfway white by the time I got you back to the village,” Nurse explains. “You’re going to have a scar.”

“Huh, cool,” Boxer says offhandedly. “So… I overheard some stuff. While I was asleep.”

Nurse suddenly looks very nervous. “Oh?”

“Yeah, like someone was saying they were sorry, and begging me to wake up… but Greedy was also talking about how you weren’t eating.”

Nurse is silent, and Boxer furrows his brow. “You  _ did _ remember to eat, didn’t you?”

“I might have… forgotten,” Nurse mumbles. “Amid the panic and scramble to keep you alive.” He lets out a halfhearted chuckle. “I haven’t slept in five days and haven’t eaten in four and I-“

“You haven’t  _ slept?!” _ Boxer’s shout makes Nurse yelp and jerk backwards, toppling over. Boxer sits up, glaring. “And you call  _ me  _ the idiot! I can’t believe you!”

Nurse is upright again like a shot, glaring right back at him. “You  _ are  _ the idiot! You’re the one who let himself get bitten by a  _ Shadow Spider!” _

“I was trying to  _ save _ you,” Boxer retorts. “I  _ did  _ save you!!”

_ “Save _ me?! I had to carry you back here like Baby!!”

“That’s even worse!!”

Squeezing his eyes shut, Nurse clenches his fists. “Shut up.”

“I will not, you carried me  _ and  _ worked your tail off to save my life and you couldn’t take the time to take care of yourself?!”

“Shut  _ up.” _

“No!! If you care about me, then you have to care about yourself too! You don’t get to disregard your health-“

_“Shut_ _up-“_

“-in favor of my own-“

_“Shut_ _UP-“_

“-just because you think I’m worth more than you or some stupid smurf like-“

Nurse kisses him.

It’s the only thing he can think of to get Boxer to stop talking, and it works.

Once he pulls back, his mouth forms a small smile. “I said,” he says, “shut up.”


End file.
